The List!

Allyson did a post recently about her "list". Ladies, you may be familiar with this list...guys too (the two that follow me anyway, Otin and Bobby G). I have always considered myself VERY immature when it comes to certain emotional aspects. I blame this on being raised by an alcoholic for 13 years of my life. I feel it stunted my emotional development. So while I AM 32, I am really 19. Makes sense to me. The GREAT thing is I am with a guy that tolerates me while telling me how wonderful I am (just tonight he said I was "perfect"...awe).
Seriously though, this post was supposed to be fun and somehow it's turned into me, yet again, blowing smoke about my childhood and "faults".
Okay, so the list is a list of CELEBRITIES that you would be allowed to play around with while committed. Only because it would NEVER happen. It's FUN. It doesn't mean you are a whore, it doesn't mean you are dishonest or disrespectful to your man or your vows. It's FUN. Studies show that fantasy can be VERY beneficial to relationships. For instance, my fantasy may be for Sean to dress up in a Tim Riggins football uniform. Just saying...if you don't know who Tim Riggins is, and you should if you've been ready my blog for any length of time, you're about to find out because he is NUMERO UNO on my "list"....

Taylor Kitsch (Tim Riggins #33 on NBC Friday Night Lights. New episodes in January on NBC)


Jared Leto ladies! Also known as "Jordan Catalano" from the MTV hit "My So Called Life". He is now the front man for the band "30 Seconds to Mars". Yuuummmy. My high school bestie Nicole and I used to hyperventilate while watching him on MTV. She, NO KIDDING, used to have to LEAVE THE ROOM because she couldn't handle his hotness. Oddly enough, we both have a crush on Tommy Lee as well but he did not make my list due to his sex tape with Pamela Anderson (yuck).

Nicole and I at our 11 year class reunion (about 3 years ago)

Ryan Gosling. He's an awesome actor. He's also an advocate for the crap going down in Darfur. It was because of him, and only him, that I watched the documentary about Darfur. I am shallow enough that sometimes it takes a hot guy to get me to learn about things OUTSIDE of the US.


Joshua Jackson. Good ole' Pacey Whitter. "Dawson's Creek". James VanDerBeek has NOTHING on Joshua, or Joshie as I like to call him. Now he's on "Fringe" which I don't watch but he's still on my list.


Eminem. Yes, judge all you want ladies but Marshal Mathers makes my heart sing. Not only do I think he is a genius but he is smokin'. Plus, he's from Detroit. Quick story, I actually met and got to be around Em for a little while. I cannot go into detail but he is super cool, QUIET, shorter than you'd think (maybe 5'8") and funny as hell! He's a good dad and humble guy.

Sean. Oooops, how did he sneak in here? He IS my list, for the rest of my life ;) Funny, HOT, funny, kind, PATIENT beyond belief, and MY future husband! Yowsa!


So there you have it, my list. If you would like to join in feel free. If there is someone you think should be ON this list that perhaps I forgot, please, tell me!

I will leave a few pictures of the ladies for Otin and Bobby G. Just so they don't feel left out.

Shakira Otin


Salma Bobby G

Randomosity

Woo-Hoo! Thank GOD it's my Friday! I need these next two days. I am going to pack and try not to completely freak out about not having a job. I am getting more and more nervous and there's not a whole lot I can do from Ann Arbor at this point.
It looks like the house will close tomorrow. Sean will leave work at 3pm and head to the closing. I think anyway. I think my Mom is heading up there too...I COULD go with her I suppose. I hadn't even thought about that. DUH!
I had a HORRIBLE dream yesterday and I just re-remembered it. I usually remember my dreams, maybe 3 times a week, which I love because usually they are pleasant. This one was NOT. I dreamt that there was a nuclear chemical attack and people were exposed to radiation. They were shaking and seizing like cockroaches. Somehow I managed to survive, although I do remember feeling ill. I ended up in a cabin of sorts and the attack spurred an avalanche. The snow covered the cabin and it protected us from the radiation. I don't remember who "us" was but we lived. I was glad to wake up! The other day I had a dream that my back teeth kept falling out but instead of picking teeth out of my mouth they were little nuggets of glass. I had two hand fulls by the time I woke up.
I looked up the meaning to these dreams (I already knew the teeth one because I've had that one alot). The nuclear attack AND avalanche both sort of mean the same thing: that I have bottled up emotion that is about to erupt and that I feel vulnerable, helpless, and stressed. That important changes are about to take place. Ya' think?! Sheesh.
My nose is raw and dry and peely from blowing it so much. It looks VERY unattractive, probably a good thing that I don't have any job interviews huh?
Sean's newest idea is to move 90% of my stuff out of my apartment when he moves the storage unit within the next two weeks. Including my bed. His plan is to have me sleep on an air mattress. At first I was like "WHAT?!" But it's a good idea I guess, to get the most out of the moving truck and be able to move the rest of my stuff when I move. I guess he plans on doing that with his car. Who knows. I'd still have my TV, a table, microwave, dishes, lamps, bathroom stuff, and clothes. We have to talk about it a little more. I don't know if he realizes how much I WILL still need considering I still have a month to live down here...unless I get a good job before the end of December, not likely.
That's all. I keep forgetting to leave you with a music choice. Today may be a little out of left field. SHAKIRA! I used to LOVE her (Laundry Service album was AWESOME). My Dad is IN LOVE with her, the old pervert! Anyhow, I saw her on Good Morning America recently and LOVE this new song "Gypsy" from her new album, "She Wolf", due out today! She's g.o.r.g.e.o.u.s. Enjoy!

Monday Monday

Here's to another week! I hope your is fabulous.

I took a sick day last night from work. I felt like absolute dog crap. I slept 12 hours (9pm-9am), got up for 3 hours, and slept for another 4 hours. I came to work tonight because I have no sick time in my bank and I refuse to use Comp Time or Vacation Time because that is to be used for my "Sean Visits". I still feel pretty crappy but if my headache would go away I would be alot better. I'm thinking sinus infection at this point. That's what Sean thought he had and I am inclined to believe the same because of the color of my boogies...yuck.

Anywho, it looks like the house closing will be THIS WEEK! Can you believe it?! It's a FAST closing, like three weeks. They wanted to close today but Sean has to work and he didn't know of these plans soon enough to switch his day off for the week (he works four 10 hour days). He has Friday off so we'll see if that's the closing date or if he ends up being able to switch with someone at work. There is some talk about banks being closed Friday??!! Are they normally closed the day AFTER Thanksgiving? That sounds stupid to me. Whatever, we'll see.
I am excited about the house but my excitement is overshadowed by the fact that I have no job. It looks like I will be able to save about a months worth of bills before moving. Soon after, hopefully, I will get my security deposit back from my landlords, which is close to another month. THEN, I will have a couple of months worth coming back from income taxes. But, this is just money for MY bills. This does not include any bills for the house (mortgage, utilities, groceries). So, that sucks. I want to be able to help Sean out. I HATE HATE worrying about money. I have a job prospect but am not going to talk about it AT ALL because I kind of believe in jinxes and won't do that to myself. But please keep your fingers crossed and pray that I get a shot at this job.
I have next to nothing packed. I packed up alot of the kitchen yesterday but I get so overwhelmed with packing. Plus, I need some bubble wrap or something. Most of our stuff is in storage but we want Sean to move most everything when he comes down after closing with a U-Haul truck. His job pays for it up to $1000 so we'd like to get most of it in a big truck and just use a pick-up for my stuff in the apartment at the end of December. I'm tossing my couch and chair so I really don't need much for my stuff. I will be SO glad when we are all moved in, I have a job, and we get settled.
Okie Dokie, nothing much to say. Have a great week!

Fighting...

So, I guess it was inevitable. I have officially been given my first Winter cold. I am almost certain that Sean is the gifter. He was very sick two days while I was up there and I refuse to obey his "no kissing on the lips" rule, this is what I get.
I woke up today feeling okay but quickly went downhill. By the time I felt REALLY bad it was too late to call off of work so I am going to suck it up and get through this night.
I firmly believe in herbal remedies. Whenever I can I will take herbs rather than prescriptions. I got all of my little cold fighting soldiers in order tonight and started on my cold fighting regimen. While I was up north to see Sean, just after he proposed, I ran up to Walgreen's and picked him up some Zicam and Emergen-C. Thankfully, I have some of these things at home as well.

MY COLD FIGHTING CREW

Zicam nasal swabs. I usually use the spray but this is all I have so I am using these. The reports of major side effects mean nothing to me. I have used Zicam for years and have been fine.

Esberitox. This stuff is a little tough to find (I found it at Whole Foods and before that Better Health). It's like a super charged Echinacea. I like it although it is a bit pricey and you are supposed to take 9 pills a day.


Emergen-C. Basically all this is is Vitamin C in HUGE amounts. It tastes good and I mix one packet with my water. Don't buy the Ruby Honey Lemon or whatever, it's nasty.


So there you have it. While at Walgreen's the pharmacist told me that HE uses Cold-Eeze Zinc cough drops and Elderberry extract when he feels something coming on. I may try that sometime but for now I am using what I already had at home. If I feel this bad tomorrow it will be another sick day for me, the last one I have in my work bank...

I hope you all are feeling okay!!

PS: It looks like I predicted right and ABC will not be picking up any additional episodes of "Eastwick". DAMN IT!

We will see...

So I had my appointment with my new best friend the Endocrinologist today. I slept like absolute hell last night (I'll get to that later) so I looked EXTRA tired and Hypothyroidic ;)

After explaining to her the symptoms that stood out the most to me (fatigue, short teem memory issues, and body temp) she agreed that there is no reason not to medicate me. Then I threw in the bit about wanting kids within a year and she agreed that my TSH number should be lower than a 2 to be ideal baby making levels. SUPER COOL Doc. I explained that I would no longer have insurance after December 28th so she ordered check-up labs for the 28th instead of a week later when she normally would. She ALSO wrote me a prescription for THREE MONTHS worth so that I am covered for longer when I have no insurance. If my dosage needs to be changed I can cut the pills in half or whatever. ALSO ALSO, she said my next "appt." concerning my next labs would be a phone call from her so that I don't get charged for THAT.
So, I started on 50mcg of Levothyroxine (generic Synthroid) this morning. I am hoping it helps with fatigue and helps my "girl cycle" to become consistent. By the way, this month (first month after stopping birth control) my cycle was TWO days...not normal for me.
I did some research on this Levothyroxine and am not liking what I am reading. Most people are frustrated because they GAIN weight. Not sure how that works considering it boosts your metabolism and one of the possible side effects is "increased appetite with weight LOSS". I am FINE FINE FINE with my weight. I really don't want to lose more than 5-10 pounds, which would put me at 105-110. Any skinnier than that and I will feel horrible. I like to look healthy, not rail thin and frail. I also don't want to GAIN weight though and am a bit nervous about all of this feedback I am reading about. I guess people who are happy on this drug are not the people that post messages about it right? We'll see what happens. I was 119 today fully clothed so that's my starting point.
The sleeping thing...WEIRD. Ever since I picked up my ring, Saturday, and Sean gave it to me (Tuesday), I have been so paranoid that something AWFUL is going to happen. The drive up north was very anxious because I thought "I am going to see Sean, we will be engaged....something is going to prevent that." After I got up there things were fine. Sean was actually really sick and went to bed early. I chose to sleep in the "guest bedroom" because when my man is sick he snores like a banshee. As I was laying in the next room over I was convinced he would stop breathing in his sleep. I actually CHECKED on him a couple of times like he was a newborn baby. THEN, I get home and go to sleep...well, TRY to go to sleep. Now I am convinced that someone is going to break in and kill me. WTF?! When you have bad things happen to you over and over in your life it is REALLY hard to get used to things going so well. Seriously, I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hope these fraidy cat feelings go away soon. I am aware of them. I am aware of WHY I am feeling this way. And I have gotten really good over the past two years of pushing them out of my head. It is just very odd.
I will keep you all posted on the Thyroid meds.

My trip in pictures...

I don't want anyone to get too excited. There will be no pictures of the ring. This is something that I decided on before a ring was even tangible. It's hard to explain without sounding offensive so I won't try. All I can say is that it's not my style. It's not me. I feel like when people post JUST the ring it diminishes the REAL news, which is two people pledging their commitment to one another. And I'm not talking about taking things lightly. I am 32 and come from a LOOOOONG line of divorces. Even my great grandparents were divorcees (sp?). That was unheard of back in the day. The only person I can think of that has stayed married is my cousin. So, I take this very seriously and feel VERY good about being 32 before any marriages. That's not to say that people can't stay married if they're younger, it just means it feels good for ME. ANd honestly, when I see a girl post pictures of her ring (think Facebook) I cringe. It is one of my biggest pet peeves. Everyone is different...
The pictures I am talking about are pictures of the drive up to Traverse City, which is 3.5 hours away from Ann Arbor. Let's take a look shall we? Like I said, don't get excited...

I saw MANY vehicles parked on the side of the road...these vehicles belong to hunters.

The "Bear Crossing" sign, which serves as kind of a landmark. I am about 45 minutes away from TC at this point :)

Another hunter.

The drive looks like this for about 2 hours.

Like I said, two hours of this view.

On the way up I was having mini panic attacks. I had worked all night and left at 7am right from work. I was t.i.r.e.d. Worse than that though was the fact that I literally saw TWENTY dead deer bodies on the side of the road. This left me completely panicked and paranoid. You can see in these photos that the shoulders of the roads are wooded. Deer can run out at any time and you can't really avoid them. Plus, rifle season began on Sunday and so when hunters shoot, the deer run and they don't care WHERE they run to, they just run. I also worried about cars and trucks coming towards me hitting deer. They could swerve right into me OR hit the deer and send it flying into my car. It was thee most worried drive I have ever had up there and I've been driving up north since I was 16. I am NOT looking forward to doing this again...twice before I live up there.
On the way back it was more of the same but most of the dead deer were tied or strapped to the roofs of trucks from hunting. So gross. And so sad.
Oh, I also took a picture of our new subdivision. I love it. I drove by the house again, mainly to scope out where the registered sex offender lives. I found out on Family Watchdog that there is a convicted sex offender (attempted rape) on our street. After driving by (and having the address memorized) I discovered he is FOUR houses down. Booooo! I DARE that A-Hole to try something! :)

Our street :)

P.S. Not sure IF or HOW he found out about the engagement but my ex (broke up 4+ years ago) texted me today. "You don't have to respond, I just wanted to say hi." Okay...no, I don't think I WILL respond Thank You Very Much. He makes my stomach turn with disgust. This is "Metro Sexual" guy in my previous Parade of Men post.

I was SO touched at the 10 comments I received just since posting this morning. It is such a great feeling to know that you, people that know the REAL me, approve and are happy for me. It's very genuine and I LOVE genuine! So thanks!

You have to kiss a few toads...

...to find your Prince :) Thank God I found mine :)

Yes, we are officially engaged! Yesterday morning was the big moment. I am still in Traverse but will leave in a few hours, once the deer stop moving and I can drive home without hitting one...hopefully. I saw about 20 dead carcasses on the road on the way up. Literally. It was NOT a fun drive. I was going to leave tonight after dinner and get home late but after seeing all of the dead deer I decided I wanted to leave while it was light out. I have some pictures that I took on my drive up that I will post next time. No, not pictures of dead deer.
I had to tell Sean's Mom about the ring over the phone...sucky. She worked all day and had bowling after that so she wouldn't even be home until later today. On bowling nights she stays the night at her Mom's. I promised her I would stop into her work today on my way out of town. She was happy though.
I even called my Grandparents in TN last night. I haven't talked to them on the phone in over a year. They are VERY religious and I am their only grandchild that has an official engagement. My cousin got married fast and divorced even faster. My brother isn't really the "marrying kind" and my other cousin doesn't seem interested either. So, I felt a phone call was in order and they seemed VERY proud. My grandma even said "I knew you were our only hope!" Ironically, they have both been married and divorced as well.
So, that's that. It feels good for it to be official and to be able to tell everyone. I am surprised at how many people want to know WHEN we are getting married. And of course we are already being asked about kids...
Happy. That's how I feel. Happy, thankful, fortunate, and excited. It's a good time :)